can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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