Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
