If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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