Buhtt sex?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
