I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
time to smoke my breakfast
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
