I want to stick my p in your. b.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
