It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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