So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
