Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
