Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
