Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
