you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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