I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
