Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
