i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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