The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
