There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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