I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
