you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
