Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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