He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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