Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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