It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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