after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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