it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
