The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
