There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
