so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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