was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
