He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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