if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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