porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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