His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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