My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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