yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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