She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
