dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
where am i from again
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
