i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
