I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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