Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
