There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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