U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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