i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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