you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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