TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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