Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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