That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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