I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
