are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
