called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
