no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
