he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
