i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
