he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
